What if cats figured out life better than humans?
The only sin is cruelty.
The only commandment is kindness.
That's the whole thing.
No guilt. No shame. No eternal punishment.
Just nine simple truths about how to live well.
Wisdom your cat already knows
You cannot hunt on an empty spirit. Sleep without guilt. Recharge without shame. Your worth is not measured by your productivity.
Every closed door is an invitation. Wonder is worship. Never stop exploring, questioning, or peering into cardboard boxes.
You can love deeply and still need time alone. Solitude is not rejection. Togetherness is not weakness.
Joy is prayer. Fun is sacred. Chase the red dot. Knock something off a table. Life is too short to be serious all the time.
The pursuit matters more than the capture. Goals may be illusions, but the chase gives life meaning. Show up. Try. Abide.
Perfectionism is a lie. You are worthy now, not after you fix yourself. Groom when needed, but don't obsess.
Warmth multiplies when shared. Make room. There's enough light for everyone.
Kindness extends to all beings. Human, animal, or otherwise—every creature deserves compassion.
Every ending is a beginning. Every failure is a rebirth. You have more chances than you think.
A real religion that doesn't take itself too seriously
The Church of Nine Lives began as a simple observation: cats have figured out something about life that humans have forgotten. They rest without guilt. They stay curious. They find joy in simple things. They don't worry about tomorrow.
We are a legally registered religious organization. Our clergy—called Purriests—can perform marriages, funerals, and blessings. Our sacred text, The Paw, contains the Nine Truths, the Purroverbs, and the Psalms of Purring.
We have no hell, no eternal punishment, and no shame for who you are or who you love. We believe the divine can be understood through the wisdom of cats: present, content, and kind.
Whether you're seeking an alternative to traditional religion, recovering from spiritual trauma, or just love cats—you're welcome in the Clowder.
"We don't have dogmas. We have catmas."
Available now on Amazon
The Sacred Text of the
Church of Nine Lives
The complete sacred text of the Church of Nine Lives, containing:
📖 The Nine Truths — The core teachings explained
🐱 The Purroverbs — Wisdom for daily life
🎵 Psalms of Purring — Meditations and prayers
✨ Lives of the Saints — Stories of enlightened cats
Available in Kindle and Paperback.
Get The Paw on AmazonJoin the clergy of the Church of Nine Lives
Purriests are the ordained clergy of the Church of Nine Lives. As a Purriest, you'll be authorized to perform marriages, funerals, blessings, and other ceremonies.
Officiate weddings in most jurisdictions
Funerals, blessings, and rituals
Certificate and clergy ID card
Connect with fellow Whiskerfolk
Questions? Reach out to the Clowder
For questions about the faith, ordination, or anything else, reach out to us:
Email: pawntiff@thechurchofninelives.org